Stubby and Blythe
by slaygal166
Summary: Buffy meets a shaggy dog on patrol one glorious evening. Funny conversation and secret identities abound. Buffy/Sirius Harry Potter crossover. Fluffy and cute, and rather silly...with a tidbit of rhyme in the beginning for good measure. Enjoy!


Hi! So this is a lil story I wrote, and I think it's cute so I posted it. I did reread for errors but he entire writing process took about an hour or two, so I might have missed something. If so, just let me know. And PLEASE review. Also, this was intended as a one-shot, but once I started writing my fingers kept typing and i never got to the end I had anticipated. Do you think I should bother writing a second chapter? Any review that wants me to add another chapter I will probably listen to : )

This is completely non-canonical. Buffy is a freshman in college and this is just one of those nights between crises and pre-riley that were totally normal for our fave vampire slayer. HP is also completely non-canonical, but somewhere between the end of book 3 and the middle of book 4 I guess.

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There is a land not too far from here, but also not too near, where fanged demons haunt the night, and screams are not rare to hear. It is a little town called Sunnydale, where my haunting tale begins, and though it is really not that scary, we should still cue the violins. 

It was a dark night and a young woman with blonde hair was walking the streets of Sunnydale alone. The night was quiet and clear and in the sky the moon shone. Despite the quaintness of the town and the rhymes your trusty narrator makes, the woman was very wise to carry several wooden stakes.

For the blonde was the vampire slayer we all know and love…and the jeans she was wearing fit her like a glove? I think I shall stop rhyming now and move on with the story. So basically, it was a quiet night in Sunnydale and Buffy the vampire slayer, age 19, was doing her nightly patrol.

Now then, our heroine was quite bored because no ookie demons were to be found. She decided to walk on over to the nearest cemetery and take a nap on one of the benches. See, by this time, Buffy thought she was invincible, and if there was any trouble her slayer senses would wake her up right away. Alas, she was wrong.

A few minutes after Buffy closed her eyes, an ickle newbie vampire clawed his way out of his grave. Still dressed in funeral attire, he shoved away the mounds of dirt and fallen leaves that were blocking his way to the surface. He cracked his neck and sighed contentedly at being reborn, though he was a bit confused. And rather hungry. He could smell something warm and yummy in the air, and hear a distant pulse. He could also hear some snoring.

And so, our new vampire friend…achem, I mean fiend…creeps toward the sleeping beauty on the bench. He cracks his knuckles and starts to bend forward to bite her neck—his instincts just tell him what to do. However, his senses were not quite good enough, as he was completely unaware of the shaggy black dog that came up behind him and bowled him over. At the dogs growl, Buffy groaned something that sounded like "Five more minutes, Mr. Gordo!" and rolled over, her back to the fight on the ground beside her bench. As the dog bit the vampire's leg, and he howled like a wounded cat, Buffy's eyes snapped open.

The woman rolled back over and jumped up, pulling her stake out of her boot. She saw a huge furry beast attacking a fanged young man, and was both confused by his presence and very grateful for it. She didn't hesitate to stake the vampire from behind as the dog distracted him. Flipping her hair over her shoulder and crossing her arms over her chest, she felt very disappointed at the lack of a good fight. The dog was staring at her avidly, it was kind of creepy.

"Now then, are you a good doggie or a bad doggie?" Buffy asked, inching closer and putting her stake away, hands out to show she was weaponless and just wanted to pet the furry little guy, ok big guy. The dog-beast thing cocked his head to the side, as if considering, barked once in a very cute way, and darted away as fast as he could, tail wagging.

In his head, the dog was thinking "Well, I am a good doggie, but the longer I stare at you the more I want to be a bad doggie. If only those jeans didn't fit you like a glove, and I hadn't been starved of attractive female attention, and food, for the past 12 years, we might not have this problem. Ah well, let's make a game of it." And that's when he ran off. Want to take a wager on who this not-so-good doggie might be? Anyways, the shaggy dog was surprised to find that the blonde was catching up to him. And in really tight jeans no less! Aha! He knew how to trick her. He skidded into an alleyway and turned into a….

A man awaited Buffy in the alleyway she had just seen the dog run through. She halted in her tracks, as there were two possible directions the dog could have gone from the alleyway—left or right. How would she choose? She decided to ask the nice looking man standing there. Ok, by nice looking she meant dangerously sexy, but that's beside the point. His dark shaggy hair was a little longer and scragglier than she would've liked, but with a hair cut and a bath it would probably look great. Maybe she could join him in the bath---just to make sure he washed it correctly, of course. Of course Buffy, whatever you say. Anyways, she asked him if he had seen a big shaggy dog run by through the alley.

"Have you seen a big shaggy dog running through this alleyway?" She asked him, not to be redundant.

"Do you see a mirror in this alleyway?" He countered.

"If there was one then you probably would've done something about that hair. But anyways, that didn't answer my question." Buffy couldn't help but quip.

"Well then, the answer is no." Said the tall and overly skinny man.

"Well then, you must be blind, because I _saw_ the dog go through here. It must've gone right by you." Buffy responded huffily.

"Or maybe, the dog is still here. And you are the blind one, because you just can't see him." The man replied with a smirk. He loved the blonde's pout, this was more fun than he'd expected.

"Obviously he's not. He could be anywhere by now, so would you please just tell me which way the damn dog went?" Buffy responded, getting frustrated. Who was this annoying man anyways? And why was his smirk so damn sexy?

"Why are you so interested? Are you attracted to this dog or something?" The man asked, laughing to himself.

"Actually, no. I'm not into bestiality." Buffy said with a shudder, working off of the man's lame attempt at a joke. Weird British humor...

"Huh, never thought of it that way. Shame…" Mumbled the man to himself.

"What was that?" Buffy asked curiously, her slayer hearing momentarily failing her in the presence of hotness.

"Uh, nothing. I'm S—Stubby. Stubby Boardman. Who are you?" He asked quickly, covering up his suspicious remark.

"I'm B-B-Blythe! Blythe Sanders. And no way is Stubby your real name." She replied.

"So, B-B-Blythe is it? Funny how you never had a stutter before in this delightful conversation. Tell me about yourself Ms. Sanders." He responded sarcastically.

"Umm, I'm twenty-one, I enjoy long walks on the beach and candle lit dinners…what more do you want to know?" Said Buffy uncomfortably. She should really have been better at the false identity thing. Not that she even knew why she was hiding her age and identity—it was only because the guy was. Yeah, the guy was a liar!

"Ah yes, and how do you know about vampires?" 'Stubby' asked smoothly, while Buffy was still absorbed in her thoughts.

"Well duh, I'm the sl…oh shit. How did you…how do you…what?" She asked, very coherently.

"Oh, I'm sorry, the dog told me. I didn't mean to catch you off guard or anything…"

"Liar! Alright, well you don't seem to be a vampire, and I'm starved, and the Bronze is just around the corner so…" Buffy said quickly, trying to change the topic.

"Are you propositioning me, Blythe? Because I am fully aware that the Bronze is a dance club. I may be new in town, but I am pretty sure the Bronze doesn't exactly specialize in food."

"Do you want me to be propositioning you?" Buffy asked flirtatiously. 'Oh lord, what am I doing??' She thought to her self. "Erm, I am insulted that you could suggest such a thing! I'm just an innocent young girl and you! You are a skeevy man who is trying to take advantage of me!" Buffy stated in her best Harmony voice, though she was unable to hide her smile.

"You don't look that innocent to me," 'Stubby' muttered. He shook his head as he heard what he had just said. "That was completely inappropriate, I am so sorry. You know what? Let's go to the Bronze." He was new at this "contact with the opposite sex" thing anyways. And by contact he didn't mean physical contact of course. After all, she was a decade and a half younger than him.

But Buffy had dated older men. Over 200 years older. And so, she turned around in her cute patent leather ankle boots and headed for the bronze with 'Stubby' following her, very glad she had worn such tight jeans (though it was only for the sake of a bad rhyme).

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So, tell me. Worth another chapter? And you did get that Stubby is Sirius, right? He is on the run after all. And I hope you understood the mirror thing, b/c Sirius IS the dog so he would only have been able to see the dog run past if he had seen his reflection...I really didn't write this thing too well if this thing needs explaining, did I.

PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you thought, what you didn't think, and about your love for cookies. I LOVE REVIEWS!


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